Relationships are never easy. At the best of times, you end up feeling happy and at a level where you understand the other person. At the worst of times, you feel angry, teary and betrayed. For me I think the key is being understood and being able to understand. Sounds easy? Well it isn't. Let me demonstrate -
When I was 16, TVS scooty was launched, a two wheeler that looked snazzy and was miles ahead of the earlier moped version. It was meant for young females, teenagers basically and was a revolution at the time. In easier terms, at that point in Thrissur, there was a sprinkling of women and girls who were brave enough to drive it and they were the 'HEP - in crowd' people of the time. I remember looking at these 'Hep-ers' with amazement for the concept of riding a two wheeler was scary. Accidents on a 2 wheeler looked more gruesome than the ones on a 4-wheeler.
My father, probably sensed my wariness and admiration for the scooty and offered me a challenge. If I were to learn how to drive it and get a license then he would buy me a scooty. So although I was petrified, the shiny scooty in the showroom seemed to beckon me, the shiny scooty that my friends had seemed to mock me and worst of all the scooty ads on the TV all seemed to be directed at me.
So I mustered up my courage, learnt how to drive it and got my license. 'TA _ DAHHHH!!!' Totally proud of my achievement I waited patiently for my dad to come from Dubai on his vacation and buy me a scooty. Sound simple?
Well it wasn't! The twist was that my dad got cold feet and he went back on his words; he was worried about me having an accident and as a loving father he couldn't bear the thought. Ironical that my dad ended up with the worry that I started off with.
As a parent, I can now appreciate what he meant to do then. All parents go through, this juggle between letting your child make his/her own mistakes, allowing them to grow as an individual and letting go of the protectiveness that wells inside you every time you see your child trip, fall or otherwise get into a bad situation. The balance is fine and I would be lying if I say that its an easy enough line to walk.
As a teenager, I fully hated my dad for going back on his words, it didn't make sense that the person whom you trust implicitly breaks your trust and the explanation didn't pass muster either.
Anyways the long and short was, the episode ended in tears, wails and sense of total let down. My tenacity to not let go meant I did get my scooty but one year after it was promised. My dad felt hurt for he felt I didn't understand his concern (as if I would!!! after all there was a scooty in question you know!)
So as I said relationships are never easy.
