My Angel

I don’t suppose anyone is going to be the least interested in this blog update of mine. However, I wanted to jot this down before time entirely dims out this particular remembrance of mine.

Before I embarked on my 9 month journey and indeed many a time during the journey itself, I had enquired to quite a few members of my sex about the actual labor process. It quite irritated me then that I got vague responses, felt as if there was a conspiracy. What astounded me then was that how come all the women participated in this conspiracy, irrespective of age, caste, creed or financial position? What unseen power bound these women to secrecy?

Now that I myself have been through labor, I finally can say that tomorrow if anyone were to ask me about it, I would perhaps give the same vague answers that I was recipient of earlier.

Okay let me go through this step by step rather than jumping the gun, shall I? I had a c-section done and while I am definitely not going into the intricacies of it, I would like to say that before this one instance, a tetanus injection was the most painful interaction I had had with respect to hospitals and allopathic healing methods. Being wheeled into the labor room on the fateful day, brought to my mind all those movies where the bulb placed above the words ‘OPERATION THEATRE’ would ominously light up with dramatic background music. While on the operation table itself, I had the misfortune of looking up and finding the proverbial huge light placed right above. Hmm…..well it wasn’t the best of situations to be in and the nurses and docs all donned in green overalls with their face masks on weren’t helping to lighten the atmosphere other.

The two low points of the entire situation was one while I was being given anesthesia and two when the affects of anesthesia had worn off.  To have someone poke you with a needle somewhere along your spine is definitely not my cup of tea. Once the anesthesia had worn off and I started feeling the aftermath of c-section, I recall thinking to myself that I could happily murder all those women who chose not to warn me of what actually happens. It’s definitely not a joy ride then and I was wondering to myself why women voluntarily embark on it anyways!!!

However, I also, vividly recall the moment my bundle of joy appeared and my first view of her.  Every passing moment thereafter, I have looked into her sleeping face and felt indescribable tender vulnerable feelings.

The memory of labor itself is fading into the background, instead time now seems to have started from the moment she was born and not anytime before. My 9 months of pregnancy seems to be a thing from the distant past and my angel, my only reality of my present and future.

My apologies to all those women who are yet to embark on this journey and may at some point in future come to me to enquire about it. It is not my wish to hide what happens but rather the clichéd sentiment that once I saw my baby I forgot everything else that will make me give you vague answers.