Onam 2013

Dear Ashita

There is a lot to be said about life abroad, the level of hygiene, the security, the work life balance, the weather, the discipline (especially in maintaining a queue), the ingrained politeness in each individual you come across and I guess many more things. For the most part, every Indian I think would add financial returns on the top of that list and probably a few more items at the bottom and middle of it. Come a festival though, suddenly the heart yearns to be at home. Notice that abroad is never mentioned as home. We may become US citizens, British passport holders and what not for the benefits they give us but I think the heart still wears the colours of your home country's flag.

Today is Onam, its a festival that every Malayalee celebrates. Its a time to be happy and celebrate. India has its roots in agriculture and villages and so sources of celebration normally comes either with the start of sowing seeds or at the time of harvesting your crop and of course anytime in between when we want to appease the gods for rain, more sun, etc to ensure our crops are healthy and safe from any dangers. To this simple explanation, we normally add the colour of religion and mythology for our amusement.

Being in India would mean your house would have a pookkalam or floral design made freshly every day for 10 days, it would mean new clothes and good food, it would mean your elders sharing stories of how onam was in their days, it would mean malayalee’s who are outside Kerala all trying to reach home in Kerala in time for the celebrations and cousins, uncles, aunts all getting together. Aside from this there would be celebrations in the city and the hum in the air of something special happening. All sound good? It would also mean rains, wet dresses, mud, thronging at the temple to see God, humidity, gastric issues from over eating and a lot of TV watching and movies. There are a lot of things that may not be good in this which I probably am not able to articulate here coz when sitting afar the mind recollects festivals at home, the heart tends to soften the hard/harsh elements in it.

I am quite conscious, that within the sterility of living abroad, you not miss out on the messy, fun, emotional Indian festival experience. So yesterday I took you to an onam get together here in Edinburgh at a rented Town Hall space where there was onam sadhya (feast), live ganamela (music), bharatnatyam (dance form) performance and thiruvathira kali (a dance form associated with onam). The organisers were friends and they did a marvellous job. With music the emotions and the experience came live, with the dance forms the eyes feasted and the food spoke to my soul.

You had your first experience with Matta rice ( commonly called Mota Chawal or Kerala rice), I am glad to say the malayalee in you rose to the occasion and you enjoyed the rice, aivyal, cheru pazham (small banana) and banana chips. Sleep kept beckoning to you coz it was nap time but you couldn’t bear to miss out on the entertainment. The vivid colours and the music seemed to keep you entranced. In my heart I wished with all my might that you grow up to enjoy this culture as much as I do, not be bound to it but to understand it and open your heart to it. I wish and pray that you take a liking for dance and music and learn it for I believe these are essential parts of a culture that bring you closer to it.

I hope as the years pass, you understand that with culture comes an understanding of human mind, emotions and reactions. We, humans, are all I believe essentially the same, some good some evil, but depending on how we have been brought up, the culture we are in, we tend to react differently to situations, we interpret situations differently and we display our emotions differently. I think a truly learned person is one who is able to acknowledge that, not just in words but also with the awareness of what different cultures are and mean. That’s a tall order though and I hope when you grow up you will be grateful for the advantage you have from having parents coming from 2 different cultures.

Happy Onam my darling, I look forward to see how you will embrace this festival and my thoughts here in the years to come. And I will also make a promise that while I cherish you and have dreams for you, I will not thrust them onto you.