Mummy-to-be Musings

One of the things I keep thinking about these days is that, I am not exactly brimming with maternal feelings. Wait, I don’t suppose I am making any sense, am I?

A little bit of background I guess would be good. Well, to begin with, my exposure to kids of all ages have been quite limited. Not too many younger cousins and even when they were really young I was satisfied doing baby talk and making baby faces from a distance. As long as the kid was in the arms of its mom or someone elder I was happy to try and make brief contact. I like kids who are a bit older and have a lot of questions to ask but the ones who are yet to come out of the alien-speak stage, well…..as the saying goes…..distance does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

Getting educated, getting a job, getting married and then having kids….the prescribed path for all Indian women and since I am no rebel I am sticking to that path myself. So, I have ticked off the first three on the list and am well on my way to tick off the next item.

The only thing is having lived 30 odd years of a selfish life where I have had primarily to take care of myself alone, I am now entering a stage where every one around me seems to think that just by virtue of being a mom I will of course be the best person to know exactly how to care for my baby. Hmmm…..that’s HUGE.

So, there is this tiny little life growing inside me, kicking me ever so often who will suddenly pop out one day and turn my life upside down. Through it all I am supposed to be some Midwife who from day 1 not only knows how to change diapers and bathe the baby but also by the way the tiny life breathes is able to identify if something is not quite right internally!! Half the time I read about women who enter into motherhood with peace and calm, before the baby comes out they hug their tummies to themselves and sing lullaby’s to the baby. Whereas I keep wondering about mundane stuff like, what can I eat next? If I manage to pop one more pillow behind me, can I lie on my back? Will my tummy keep stretching or will it burst at one point? And last but not least I tell my child – ‘buddy you keep hitting me now but I reckon there will be a day for payback, so watch it!!’ I don't suppose i would qualify for those mothercare ad's, would I? 

Hmmm….. so where are all those maternal feelings I am supposed to be bombarded with right now?