My Dad - Part II

Dear Ashi, continuing from where I left off last time, let me cut to the chase. My dad’s not well and hasn’t been for several months now. I won’t go into the medical reasons of his condition but I do want to share with you the anguish I feel right now.

Its difficult to watch the body being eaten away by disease and that is precisely what it does. From the booming voice and laughter that characterizes my dad I now have to see a frail person with no energy to speak. His cheeks have sunk in and his eyes keep fluttering in and out of consciousness. Doctors assure me that this is just a temporary phase and that things will improve. This phase though however temporary is quite painful, to watch yes but much more so to undergo. His arms have blood clots from poked it with so many needles so many times, he isn’t able to swallow as the skin in his mouth has peeled away leaving traces of blood……..

My dad is 69 and by today’s standards that’s not old yet. I know we can expect a full recovery although it will take time to reach that. Logically all the facts and the doctor’s statements tally but emotionally every minute I am with him I just feel like breaking down and crying.  I keep searching in my mind what could be the reasons for this situation but frankly speaking there is no one thing I can point my finger at. Where logic fails reasoning goes out of the window and faith starts to make its way in, for me faith is what gives me strength to face circumstances. So increasingly I turn to god.

I have been now with my dad for 3 weeks and I haven’t yet had a good talk with him because the times he is lucid is few and far between. I guess one thing that is mostly true for all daughters is that we are daddy’s pet and when the chips fall its our dad’s who normally give us a good heart to heart and let us know that things will be okay. It is also our dad’s who make us feel protected and secure the most. I am sure you will be no different my dear and blessed are you for having that cherished relationship.

Before I finish off I want to share one last thing. You are now 16 months old and yet to start speaking, you babble words now but you do understand most of what we speak. Every day you accompany me to the hospital. Every day you bring the light back into your grandfather’s eyes with your antics. Sometimes you give him a handshake, sometimes a smile, sometimes a flying kiss and sometimes just a touch of your cheek and with each interaction with you he brightens up which lifts my heart. Your presence motivates him and for that I am grateful. Thank you my darling.